Loving yourself takes some serious guts if you don’t have the self-confidence to strut your stuff, flaunt it and put yourself out there. It means changing the way you see yourself and think about yourself. And when you do this you will change the way other people see you.
“If I asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?” – Sana Dabbas. Life Coach
How much does this quote ring true for you? Yes, you carry baggage that may affect how you view yourself. Maybe circumstances in your life have stripped you of your confidence and self-esteem. Now is the time to change all that!
So, what can you do to give yourself the confidence boost that seems to come naturally to others? Here are 3 steps to follow and help you learn to fall in love with yourself, to put that swimming costume on and have a spectacular time.
Become Your Own Life Coach
Did you know we can coach ourselves to only think positive thoughts and therefore change the way we think? To find inner-confidence we need to train ourselves to accept only positive suggestions and to see ourselves in a positive light. Because, self-image lies in the very words that we speak to ourselves.
Psychologists agree that it’s not external influences which cause anxiety, sadness or even joy and happiness. They will tell you it’s the emotions which we attached to these external events which create the framework for our behaviour. In other words, it is how we allow things to affect us as individuals that forms our beliefs and attitudes about ourselves. And how we then handle situations throughout our lives.
When we coach ourselves to ignore the negative elements – the self-doubt, the fear, the negative mind talk – we start to believe in ourselves and find the confidence to deal with whatever obstacles are in our path.
Summertime is when most people head off for beaches and swimming pools. It’s a time that we associate with relaxation and fun in the sun. But for people lacking confidence, it’s a time of dread when all those self-conscious feelings and negative body images are laid bare – literally – for all to see.
But don’t panic because there are ways to survive and even enjoy the summer by using some proven therapy techniques which will make you feel better about the way you look.
Therapists call it the ‘Inner Voice’ approach and it is used to boost confidence in people. In step 2 you will learn how to train your Inner Voice to talk about you more positively and to build your self-image in the process.
Make Your Mind Talk About Confidence
It’s all about what you say to yourself. Right now, your Inner Voice probably sounds something like this: “I’m so fat, I just can’t go to the beach”, “I’m worthless”, “I will never lose weight and look good in a swimming costume”, “I don’t think I can exercise, I just don’t have the energy”, “I can’t swim, people will stare at me”. Take a look at how many negative words are in these statements. “Don’t”, “never”, “can’t”.
You need to replace this negative mind talk with positive affirmations and personal daily mantras. And replace the “I can’ts” and “I won’ts” with the two most powerful and optimistic words, “I can” and “I will”. “I will lose 10kgs and get into that swimming costume,” and “I can do this because I am gorgeous and deserve it”. Make up affirmations and mantras using these two profound words. Tell yourself that you CAN and you WILL work towards making the necessary changes to improve the situation.
Instead of allowing yourself to accept the negative aspects of a situation, start looking at the things that are actually right about it. You will soon find if you start making a habit of being positive, the most remarkable thing begins to happen, you start thinking positively and therefore speak more positively and do things in a positive manner.
Positive self-image begins when you view the glass as half full. Start immediately. Take a deep breath in and as you exhale say: “I CAN and I WILL!”
Say Hello to Inner Confidence
You now know that you will only feel confident when you feel good about yourself and it’s up to you to change your Inner Voice to speak positively not negatively.
Self-confidence is the foundation to feeling good about how you look in any situation. The very thought of baring your skin around the pool, at the park or on the beach this summer may seem like a scary thing. However, now that your mind talk is all about boosting your, self-image, you should have enough confidence to get out there and show the world what you’re made of.
Do it once with a smile on your dial and you’ll soon realise that getting out there is not half as frightening as you thought it would be. Your confidence will keep on growing the more you do the things you want to do but never did before because of your fearful Inner Voice.
You CAN do it so just go for it and have a fun time this summer!
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